Me being Optomistic.

Yes sadly, this is yet another post from me Jackie. I write this hoping that it will motivate Jan to write one. He wants me to update the blog, but since my life is so wildly exciting, I don't know exactly what I should write. I really wanted to motivate him, so not only am I posting a blog but I updated the whole entire blog. (Jan I hope your proud, and I cross my fingers that you will blog more often now:) )..

Since I last posted not a lot has happened.... My parents and I were lucky enough to babysit my niece and nephew (Payton and Paige) while Aubrey and Mike when on a snowmobile trip. This house is not very exciting, so putting those two kids in it was a lot of fun. My parents love playing Grandma and Grampa so it's funny watching them cater to their every need. My favorite is watching my Dad play hide and seek with all of the grand kids. I love watching my Dad get into interesting places and interesting positions to hide himself. Another example of the power my nieces and nephew have over them, is seen in this picture:

Yes it's true. A tent in my living room. I am not going to lie though, I may have taken a small nap in the tent. But it is not my fault. I was only watching Horton Hears a Who with Payton, and if you know me well enough, you know that I can not last long in animation. I got woken up at the end of the movie by a little voice saying "Jack you didn't stay up for the whole movie."... I felt bad, but maybe third times a charm for that movie....

Also on Monday my Mom and I decided to fight the snowstorm and go to the Open house of the new temple in Draper. I went to the open house of the Bountiful temple when I was younger, but I don't remember very much from it. Being a kid, I mainly remember saying hi to my mom (she was volunteer paramedic) and the booties we had to put over our shoes. But that pretty much sums up my memory. So it was exciting to have another opportunity to go inside the temple again. Everything was so gorgeous. Even though it has not been dedicated yet, you could feel the spirit so strong. We got to just sit in the Celestial room and think. It made me so excited for when I will be able to go though it with Jan. It made me miss the temple too because the last time I went was in the Madrid temple and that was far to long ago. We also got sit in one of the sealing rooms. Naturally as I walked in I scoped out the seat I wanted to sit in and I as I went to sit my mom goes "You know, that is exactly where the bride sits." I guess that seat is calling to me ;). I think one of the best experiences we had there was when we were in the sealing room, there was a really old lady in a wheel chair and she wanted to stand up to see in the mirrors. So they struggled to get her up and when she looked in them she started to tremble and cry and she covered her mouth with her hand. She simply said "It's so beautiful" in a gentle, whispering voice. She was so happy to be in there. I really don't like to cry especially in public, but I really had to fight the tears. I love seeing the happiness things like the temple brings people..... I think the temple really connects your heart and your mind together. You get in there and you wish you could give everyone the feeling you are feeling. Lots of things are so hard to understand or don't make sense at all, but when you are in there, it's ok that you don't understand everything. All you have to know is that you are in the right place. Everything is clear and calm.... After the temple was me and my mom's favorite part, refreshments! Dang genetics... (And ignore that my eyes are closed in the picture. My mom is way good at telling me when she is taking the picture).

I think if there was one word to describe me right now it would definitely be nostalgic. I couldn't be more homesick. You might call me crazy because I am home now (and I have been for a very long time) but I have had a lot of time to think. And it finally hit me when I was in relief society. They were doing a spot light on an older lady and they asked her if she could go anywhere, where would she go. I sat there, and my mind raced to all these different places I can't wait to see, like Turkey, Africa, Egypt, New Zealand, China, Japan, Russia... (so on and so forth).... and her reply was "I would just rather be at home. I like to be at home." I just sat there wide eyed and thought to myself that lady is definitely crazy... Then I sat there some more and thought to myself when it hit me. What people call their home, is not the same for me. Yes I live here (and I have my whole life) but to me the world is my home. Everywhere but here is my home. "Home is where the Heart is." The world has my heart. One of my biggest fears is having a "normal life". People crave that kind of thing, but not me. I hate being chained down when there is a whole world out there waiting to be shared. Why do we always have to be in the back seat? Why do we always have to hear about these places and see pictures of them, but why can't we go see them? (lol and lets put the whole money thing to the side right now so I can continue my train of thought). I think the world holds so many experiences and lessons! There is so many different people, with so many different ideas, so many cultures.... and lets not for get, art. There is so much art to see. I am crazy for art. Individuality is so interesting and art brings that alive! Through art you can tell so much about a person, and their views of the world. Art is a treat for the soul.... but now I am getting off subject. I want to see the world and experience everything I can, we only get one shot. Just this one life. I want to experience the world so it can shape who I am. My experience abroad was one of the best experiences I have ever had because I was, for the first time, almost truly happy. The only thing that kept it from being "truly happy" instead of "almost", was Jan of coarse. Too bad he couldn't be there with me... It was so nice to get away from everything I have ever known. The only thing missing was Jan and my nieces and nephew. If it wasn't for them I would have "missed my plane." By the end of the trip I was ready to meet the rest of the world and strangely enough, I was the only one not missing home. Because I was finally home.

Speaking of Europe, I got to hang out with a couple of my bestest friends from Europe. I love them to death. Me and a few of the girls clicked within one day of the trip and you couldn't separate us after that. It was meant to be. They definitely made the trip worth it... But a couple of weeks ago we went an saw Bride Wars (my second time). And it was still good. But we saw Previews for He's Just Not that Into You and we had to go see it. It was so so good! And it has made its way up to the top of my list! A romance comedy that I think guys could definitely handle (wink wink Jan). I can't wait to see it again.

Well enough from me. I wish I had some magical story for you but everything is just the same. I go to work sometimes, eat, sleep, wait by my phone hoping to hear from Jan, and sit at my computer. I even mixed things up a little today and cleaned my room. Amazing, I know. I wish I had an update for the wedding or something about me and Jan but we haven't really talked much lately, so hopefully that will change soon. But in our short conversations we talk about how we both just need to cheer up and be optomistic about our situation. So this post is dedicated to a few things that make me a little happier to live life...


  1. Hey! You could always stop by the Hesley/Walker home, we are always popping!

  2. love the blog! I am so sad I wasn't with you guys in Utah! I am still one of the girls who clicked instantly though...right ;). So how is the planning coming. We should chat about all of this wedding stuff soon. I kinda just did it. Later, Love!

    ps I LOVE the picture of the short shorts man in venice. Ah, good times.

  3. I love how you have pictures all over your blog... I need to take more pictures, I'm kind of a slacker in that area!